Give All to Love
by Folle
Summary: Naruto struggles to come to terms with what it means to be a father. NaruSaku.


WARNING: Minimal references to manga approximately up to chapter 370. Non-graphic mention of breastfeeding.

Obligatory AN: This story goes along with a few others of mine: _Closer_ and _No Idea_. However, each story can stand on its own.

Explanatory AN: I've been working on this for. . . six months? And when I wasn't actually doing the writing, it was always on my mind—even when I was supposed to be listening to The Graduate Student's _explication_ of Montaigne's _Du Repentir_ to which I was responsible for responding (not an opportune time.) Good thing it's finished! I hope you enjoy.

* * *

**Give All to Love**

* * *

_Give all to love;_

_Obey thy heart;_

_Friends, kindred, days,_

_Estate, good fame,_

_Plans, credit, and the Muse,—_

_Nothing refuse._

Ralph Waldo Emerson

* * *

Naruto sat at his desk, his two-year-old son asleep on a pile of blankets at his feet. He didn't mind having his son in his office, and neither, it seemed, did Gaara, who was standing nearby, looking out one of the windows at his friend's village.

Sand had sent its annual delegation to Konoha in the early spring, before the cherry blossoms became their pinkest. Naruto suspected that Gaara had tried to no avail to convince his council to wait a little this year. Gaara wasn't easy to read, but no one understood what he was more than Naruto, who could see that he had wanted to give his fellow kage's family enough time to have everything well-settled and adjusted, but Naruto imagined that Gaara's council had insisted on tradition. Naruto knew about councils and tradition. Of course, for Naruto and Gaara tradition was the least of the problems they had with their respective councils. Gaara had never said so, but Naruto was sure Gaara sometimes thought his council still saw him as a jinchuuriki who wasn't entirely capable of making the best decisions. He was sure because his own council acted that way. Perhaps that was why Naruto took so much pleasure in thwarting their plans as often as possible. It was doubly delicious to help Gaara antagonize Sand's council at the same time, and Gaara had gone along with it quite easily this time, which meant he had something on his mind.

"Hope you don't mind the rug rat," Naruto apologized softly, "but Sakura-chan's still pretty tired."

"I should apologize. I did not want to intrude during this time."

Naruto grinned lopsidedly at Gaara, true mischief shining through the tiredness he felt. Neither man needed to say that they both knew their councils didn't entirely trust them, nor did Naruto need to say that even if Gaara had convinced his council to forgo tradition, there was no guarantee Naruto could have convinced his council to do the same. Honestly, Naruto didn't know if it was worse for him or if it was worse for Gaara, even though Naruto still held the raging inferno of evil that was the Ninetails.

"It could be worse. If the baby hadn't come early, you might have had to deal with Sakura-chan eight and a half months pregnant." Naruto shuddered. "Eh, heh, but she doesn't have to know I said that. . ."

If Gaara had been someone else, he would have laughed, but he was who he was, and so he merely smiled. Naruto laughed instead, and his voice was probably a little too loud because Minato's eyes popped open. Seeing his father just above him, he laughed in that happy, sleepy way of waking toddlers.

"Daddy," he chirped, and stretched his arms towards Naruto.

Naruto smiled at his only son before reaching down to pick him up. Minato was content to sit on his lap quietly, but Naruto knew it was only of matter of time before Minato woke fully and before he tried to get into every drawer and cupboard in Naruto's office. Gaara watched Naruto closely.

"You amaze me, Naruto," Gaara commented. Naruto looked up with curiosity. "You have a family," he elaborated as Minato, who was already feeling more awake, grabbed for Naruto's hat.

"Hat!" Minato demanded. Naruto held the squirming child at arm's length, willing his son to be calm and quiet just a little longer because he remembered why they had ditched that meeting: he needed to hear what Gaara had to say, and Gaara wouldn't say whatever it was in front of anyone else.

"How many people like us," Gaara continued, unaware of or uncaring about the scuffle between father and son, "could say the same?"

Naruto wanted to say that they should all be able to say it, but he knew it wasn't true. Even he sometimes felt that he had made a mistake. What had he been thinking? People with uncontrollable monsters inside them should think twice before having children.

But Minato had been such an unexpected joy, such an unending source of happiness that he hadn't questioned it. It was only two days earlier when he and Sakura had held their beautiful little daughter in their arms for the first time that those fears had surfaced.

What if he really wasn't meant to be a father? He had no idea what he was doing, and all he knew of his own father was that he had sacrificed his life for the village. What a chance he had taken—he was responsible for two precious little lives that deserved more than Naruto thought he could give them.

But Naruto knew when Gaara said "people like us," he was struggling with feelings he didn't understand and didn't know how to deal with, even if his voice was as dispassionate as always. Naruto also knew Gaara was asking for more than he was actually saying, and despite his own misgivings, he wanted to reassure his friend.

After all, Gaara had one advantage over Naruto that could make all the difference.

"Gaara, you're free." Naruto paused. It was still a little painful to think that Gaara no longer held his demon while Naruto seemed stuck with his indefinitely, but he wouldn't change that for anything. Only Naruto could understand what it must mean to Gaara, and he would never take that away. Besides that, Naruto knew the price Gaara had almost paid for the blessing.

"They've forgiven me, but no one can forget what I was. Not even me," Gaara responded softly.

Gaara was staring at Minato, who had finally succeeded in obtaining Naruto's hat. He wiggled off Naruto's lap and ran gleefully away from his father, waving the hat like a victory flag. Naruto smiled at his son's display of joyful childishness and made no move to stop him. Minato ran around a little haphazardly, giggling all the while. Naruto sighed when the blond terror (as his mother liked to call him), who was still learning to control his growing body, tripped suddenly and tumbled into the Kazekage's robed legs. Minato laughed at himself, sprawled on the floor as he was, and Gaara's eyes widened before he smiled ever so slightly and leaned over to help the blond boy to his feet. Minato looked up at Gaara, recognition in his eyes.

"I like sisters," he declared before resuming his jaunt around his father's office. Gaara watched him go, and Naruto could see the strange, sad longing in Gaara's eyes.

"You'll always have Kankouro," Naruto reminded him, "and Temari and her girls."

"Yes," Gaara agreed, but the longing remained in his eyes as he continued to follow Minato's progress around the room. Naruto sighed again, trying to think of something more reassuring, something that could reassure them both. Before he could say anything, however, the door to his office was thrown open.

Naruto looked toward the door, ready to pacify whatever chuunin that had been sent after the missing kages. However, it wasn't one of the chuunin assistants in the doorway; it was Sakura.

"Mama!" Minato called happily when he saw her. His call didn't seem to register with Sakura, who was gripping the doorframe so forcefully that her knuckles were white. If she weren't still recovering from childbirth, she probably would have shattered it. Minato toddled towards his mother single-mindedly, but Gaara stopped his progress by picking him up midway across the room and holding him firmly.

Naruto stared at his wife, paralyzed by the fear she was exuding.

"Naruto," she whispered. Then she sagged in the doorway, sliding downwards along the frame. Hearing his name seemed to jolt Naruto from his frozen state, and he raced to Sakura's side, catching her before she hit the ground.

Naruto took in her frazzled appearance and knew that the haggard lines on her face weren't just from giving birth two days earlier. Something had happened, something terrible. Fear bloomed in Naruto's chest, making it hard to breathe. He could hear Minato pouting in the background, but it was faint above Sakura's tears and unnatural, labored breathing. The fear in Naruto's chest went cold and hard. Had she been drugged?

"He. . . took my baby. Our baby," Sakura choked out. "And I. . . couldn't move. Our baby. . . and she was crying. I could see and I could hear, but I couldn't move, and he. . . took. . ." Sakura wilted, unable to speak further.

But it was enough. Sakura's words sparked something in Naruto, something deeper and darker and more primal than the fear that had gripped him only a moment before. Before he knew what he was doing, he had asked Gaara to take Sakura to the hospital, plead with Minato to be a big boy, and promised Sakura he would find their daughter. And then he was out in the streets, ignoring the villagers and the ANBU captain approaching him, driven only by that dark, primal something that told him no one in their right mind attempted to kidnap the daughter of Uzumaki Naruto.

o0o

The demon inside him screamed with excitement and bloodlust, but Naruto did not hear it over the rushing in his ears. He had picked up on a chakra signature that didn't belong in the village, a chakra signature that was strongly developed. Strongly developed chakra meant shinobi, and shinobi meant trouble. That much was obvious. The kidnapper meant business, but something about this particular chakra bothered Naruto. However, he ignored the feeling. He did not have time to think about something he couldn't define.

The chakra signature moved haphazardly, threading through buildings and streets at random—even retracing its steps. Naruto had assumed that the kidnapper ninja would soon start moving towards the edges of the village, but he didn't. Naruto tried not to panic while he wracked his brain trying to discover the pattern behind the movements.

It hit him suddenly.

He realized with frightening clarity that he would not be able to overtake the ninja. Even worse, he also realized the other ninja was toying with him, like a cat with a mouse. Naruto would get close enough only to sense his tiny daughter's flickering chakra before the other ninja sped up and that chakra was gone.

His daughter's tiny chakra, like a spark newly kindled, would be easily blown out with the slightest puff of air.

Suddenly the foreign chakra signature's erratic movements shifted into a straight line, and it wasn't long before Naruto knew where they were going. Why there? He couldn't be sure. But some knowledge of the kidnapper's direction momentarily reassured him. He felt a surge of hope that maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be okay, but he had to strain to keep that hope from being squashed by that lingering something that had been bothering him earlier.

He followed the chakra signature straight to the top of the Hokage monument. When he landed, the air was vibrating with chakra—some his, some the fox's, and some _his_. Naruto growled as he realized why the kidnapper's chakra bothered him: it was familiar.

"Kabuto," Naruto spat. The name was like venom on his tongue, tasting of betrayal and false friendship.

Kabuto's cloak whipped in the wind. He was cradling Mitsuko to his chest with both arms, but he lifted one, and with his middle finger he pushed his spectacles further up his nose.

"Naruto-kun," Kabuto answered, "or should I say Hokage-sama?" There was sarcastic mirth in Kabuto's voice, and Naruto's anger slowly boiled. If Kabuto felt the pressure rising, he didn't acknowledge it.

"Breathtaking," he cooed falsely, stroking Mitsuko's crown. "She'll be lovely when she's older." He traced her profile with his thumb. "Oh, the things Orochimaru could have done with you. . ."

Naruto saw red. Kabuto chuckled maliciously.

"Now, now, Naruto-kun," Kabuto scolded, "the baby has just gone to sleep. We shouldn't wake her, should we?"

Naruto growled again, and a wide, sadistic smile spread itself across Kabuto's face. He stepped back, towards the cliff's drop-off, and the sun glinted off his glasses as he lifted his head.

"Unless. . . the fox is coming out to play?"

Inside Naruto, the fox howled, snarling his agreement. _Oh yes_, he seemed to say, _let's play_.

Naruto's anger built to a fever pitch, and it was just like that time on the Heaven and Earth bridge. Except it wasn't. Yes, Naruto considered Sasuke is brother, but Mitsuko was his child. His_ child_. And unlike Sasuke, she was innocent.

Naruto was furious that Kabuto would toy with him like this, that he would threaten the life of a newborn too new to even recognize a threat. That Kabuto would suggest she was fit for Orochimaru's vile experiements, that she was fit for Kabuto's sadistic fantasies. The indignity of Kabuto's serenity with human suffering pushed Naruto to the breaking point, and he hated Kabuto for everything he had done, and everything Naruto thought he was capable of doing.

And in that moment, Naruto knew that he could destroy half of Fire country. His emotion was extreme enough that he wasn't sure if the bloodlust was his, or if it was the fox's. He could flatten this mountain, incinerate all the trees, and steam all the water away for a two-mile radius. He could cremate every living thing he could sense until all of Konoha was dust and ashes at his feet, and he wouldn't know if had been him or the fox.

Kyuubi laughed with anticipation inside him, urging—ordering—him to do it. Naruto trembled. Kabuto was laughing too, and the sounds mingled until Naruto could not discern one from the other.

No, he could not give in to the fox. He would not. To burn all of Konoha meant to burn Sakura-chan, Minato, Gaara, Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, Konohamaru, Tsunade-baachan, Shikamaru, Chouji, Hinata, Neji, Lee, Kiba. . .

And Mitsuko. And all his other precious people, gone in an instant. No, he could not, would not. An emotion stronger than any Naruto had felt before washed over him, and it told him to protect, to save. To give away all he possessed to keep those he loved safe. To make any sacrifice necessary, even of his justified anger.

What this what his father, the Fourth, had felt when the Ninetails had attacked? Was this why he could take his own life and seal a monster in his son? In a moment of fear and adrenaline Naruto made a connection to the father he had never met, the father who had given his life and part of his son's for his village: his father sacrificed himself for the village, yes, but also for Naruto, his son.

To do what the fox wanted was suicide, for him and for everyone he had ever cared about. This was what Yamato-taicho had meant all those years ago. Naruto understood that now.

Naruto sprinted away from the abyss the fox offered him. Shoved the fox away so harshly it hurt even as he turned to power he hadn't known he had possessed.

Even if he had to break every bone in his body, if he had to slit his throat, he would keep the fox from winning, from taking control. He was more than willing to sacrifice his life for his child and his village. Just like his father had been.

The chakra pressure in the air increased, but Naruto's eyes were blue as the sky.

Kabuto seemed mildly surprised and slightly put out.

"Oh?" he asked himself. "You _do_ always improve." Kabuto's smile contracted, but it remained to taint his visage.

"Another time, perhaps," Kabuto promised. And he puffed away, leaving Mitsuko suspended in midair above the cliff drop-off.

Naruto sprinted forward, creating thousands of clones as he went. They dived over the cliff side, prepared to cushion the real Naruto who was busy catching his daughter and twisting around. He curled around Mitsuko, ensuring that whatever they hit, he would take the brunt of it.

Fortunately, his clones managed to slow his descent enough even as they dissipated when he sailed through them that he hit the dirt with nothing more serious than a dull thud.

Naruto almost cried with relief when he looked into his arms and saw that Mitsuko was still sleeping.

o0o

Naruto stood in the doorway of his son's room, watching the steady rise and fall of Minato's little chest and thankful that Minato hadn't been too traumatized by the events of the past few days.

When Naruto had returned from the monument with Mitsuko, he had found Gaara at the hospital entertaining Minato in Sakura's room. (Naruto suspected Gaara stayed with them to protect them as well, but he wasn't going to ask.) Sakura had been sitting up in a hospital bed, and she had looked stressed but not sick. Naruto had placed their daughter in her waiting arms. Sakura had held Mitsuko tightly while she cried, and Minato had bounded towards his father to investigate the commotion while Gaara had quietly left to let the family reunite in peace.

Whatever Naruto wanted to say about Kabuto (and he had a lot of unpleasant things to say), the man knew his drugs. He had not administered poison to Sakura—as Naruto had feared—but sedatives. And not just any sedatives, but an extremely specific dose that had kept Sakura, out of commission for exactly four hours—just enough time for Kabuto to harass Naruto and then to make his escape.

And this was perhaps what frightened Naruto the most. Kabuto had methodically planned his every move, and it seemed he was keen on releasing the fox, on making Naruto suffer through the psychological torture of fighting with his emotions, his control, and the demon who preyed on them.

Naruto was so absorbed in watching his son and thinking of Kabuto's threats that he almost didn't hear Sakura come up behind him. Almost. He was too on edge to ignore the faintest of sounds, even when he knew they weren't threatening.

"Naruto," she said softly.

Naruto turned around to see Sakura cradling Mitsuko, who had sleepy eyes. Sakura's shirt was rumpled like she had just pulled it down, and Naruto deduced she had just finished feeding Mitsuko. Naruto smiled tiredly at her, but she saw right through him.

"What's wrong?" she whispered with a frown.

"I. . ." Naruto couldn't find the words. How could he tell Sakura about the gaping crevasse the fox had offered him? How easy it would have been to step over the edge? How so much of himself was tied to his children that he could have destroyed them all?

Sakura looked at him with sympathy, with understanding, and Naruto knew he had to try.

"Kabuto wasn't really interested in Mitsuko," Nartuo told her. "He wanted to see the fox." Sakura's face was surprised in response, but she seemed to be holding back, like she knew there was more.

"No," Naruto realized, "he was testing me. To see if _I_ wanted to see the fox. . ." Naruto felt a horrible sensation well up in his stomach, the home of his hellish tenant. He looked at Sakura desperately and suddenly he couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth.

"He wanted to see if I would lose control and destroy everything, and I was so angry I almost—"

"Shh," Sakura interrupted. She leaned on Naruto's arm, and her touch soothed him. Naruto didn't say anymore, but he was shaking.

"Naruto," she coaxed as she moved in front of him to look him in the eyes. He looked at her and thought she knew he was afraid that one day the impeccable control he had worked so hard to cultivate would slip, that the nightmare inside him would obliterate every worthwhile thing Naruto had gained in life.

"I know you'll always protect us." She was sincerely solemn, and Naruto's eyes widened. "As long as you're here," she continued, "there's nothing that can hurt us." Naruto still looked unsure. "Not even that stupid fox," she emphasized. "I'll always believe in you, so believe in yourself."

Finally Naruto smiled shakily. They both knew this issue would come up again, and they both knew it wouldn't be easy to resolve, but they also both knew that if Sakura didn't believe in Naruto—if Naruto didn't believe in himself—then Kabuto would get what he had wanted.

He leaned forward to kiss Sakura's forehead, and then he leaned down to kiss Mitsuko's forehead.

"Let's go to bed," Sakura said, and Naruto knew from her tone that she was exhausted. She moved to leave the doorway, but Naruto hesitated. Sakura looked back at him.

"I don't want to leave him in here alone. . ." he gestured towards Minato, not really knowing how else to phrase it. Sakura smiled knowingly, and Naruto took it as her consent. He gently gathered the toddler up in his arms and followed Sakura towards their room.

Life was not easy, Naruto knew. He had always known. It seemed that problems had always plagued him. He didn't want to think about the danger this put his family in, and he tried to remind himself that Sakura was a capable shinobi. The children would be too, as soon as they were old enough. But until that time, Naruto would have to trust the legacy his father had left him.

He would trust that he would make any sacrifice necessary, starting with the small things. And that meant this night and always Naruto would keep his family close. Tonight that would be all bundled up in one bed, but in the future it would be where he could hear them, where he could see them, where he could _feel_ them.

And if the time ever came, where he could give his all for them.


End file.
